Semi Precious Weapons review

July 22, 2010:

“We are SEMI PRECIOUS WEAPONS from New York Mother-Fucking City and we hope you all get LAID!” It seems unreal now that I heard these words spoken from a man clad in chains and sequined platforms, but he does exist, and his name is Justin Tranter, fashionista extraordinaire and front man for Semi Precious Weapons.

I traveled to Dallas assuming that Lady Gaga alone would blow me away, and that like so many other opening bands before them Semi Precious Weapons would be subpar---I was wrong. Immediately the band hypnotized me with their abundance of energy. Tranter stepped on stage looking like a cross between Andy Warhol and David Bowie, kicking and wailing to lyrics like “I can’t pay my rent, but I’m fuckin’ gorgeous” and screaming about his sequined heels. The energy did not deteriorate throughout the set. At one point, he poured champagne upon the eager heads of spectators. Before long, they had me spending exorbitant amounts of money on tote bags, t-shirts, and their new CD “You Love You” released on Jun. 29, 2010.

“You Love You” is only comparable to the raw power of punk rock if punk were born out of Andy Warhol’s factory scene. The debut song “Semi Precious Weapons” brings rock back to it’s roots with simple but effective music, and lyrics that will have you wishing you sported bleach blond hair and leggings. It threatens with lyrics like “I’ve got a diamond in my pocket and a gun in my purse scream SEMI PRECIOUS WEAPONS or you might get hurt,” a clear statement that glam rock is here to stay, and if it stays far from the likes of Poison and Nelson I welcome it with open arms.

The album also creates a flair for egotism. “It’s not my fault I look better in her party dress...it’s not my fault this is how my momma made me I’ve been magnetic since I was a baby” is the first line on the second single “Magnetic Baby,” which sets the “don’t hate me because I’m beautiful” tone for the song and the entirety of the album beautifully. A fun party song, it is quickly becoming one of my favorites.

“You Love You” carries more than egotism and fall-on-your-ass drunken rock-n-roll-- it reinvents the power ballad (not ala White Snake). “Leave Your Pretty To Me” depicts the hopelessness of a girl, quite possibly exemplifying Tranter’s gender bending self saying “the only thing that ever came easy to her was me and tragedy..go ahead and drink because I can only be so many things.” It is possibly Tranter’s finest vocal achievement, and solidifies SPW as legitimate artists as opposed to a one-hit-wonder glam band.

From the first night I saw SPW I knew they were special. “You Love You” is kick ass party CD and an anthem for everyone who is too afraid to be themselves. It’s amazing what sequined platforms can do. “Hey DALLAS, do you like my shoes?” I don’t just like your shoes, I love your shoes, Justin.